I Am Not a Sexual Object

I am furious. I have been boiling over in anger for months. I am tired of being treated like a sexual object. I'm tired of being blatantly stared at, called at, and sexually harassed simply because I am a woman. Every single day I live here is a struggle because of the harassment I face on the street. It's the same for all women, whether Moroccan or foreign, black or white, western or African. We walk out of our doors, and suddenly we are not people, we are walking symbols of sex. We are inferior because of our gender and we are commodities because of our bodies.

Some men seem to think they have the right to talk to me, whether I want to or not. Some men think they have the right to have my cell phone number. Some men think they have the right to cat call me and say vulgar things to me. Some men think they have the right to take me out. Some men think they have the right to use my body. All because I am a woman.

Every time I step foot on the street I am blatantly stared at. Men say things as I walk by. "Bonsoir", "Ca va?", "Salut", "Hello", "Zwina", "Gazelle", "Tuta", and when I ignore them, they just repeat it again and again, louder, irritated that I won't look at them. "You speak English?", "Where are you going?", "Why so fast?". I am solicited for my number by men I've never seen before. I'm solicited to get into the car with men I've never seen before. A man in Marrakech last weekend commented on my friend's and my breasts directly to our faces.

I'm sick of it. It's demoralizing. It makes me feel like shit. Comments from random strangers should not affect me, but after seven months, they start taking their toll. After a while, being treated like a commodity makes me feel like a commodity. But more than anything, I just feel angry. I'm angry because I'm powerless. I can't make it stop. I can't make these men understand how hurtful and degrading and sexist and inhumane their words and actions are. It doesn't matter if I ignore them, tell them to go away, or yell obscenities at them (I've done all three). It doesn't change. It's ingrained in the culture.

Not all men in Morocco here are like this. There are good, kind men here who treat women with respect. This is also not restricted to Morocco, or Arab or Muslim countries for that matter. This kind of harassment happens all over the world in under developed countries such as Mexico, India, and south east Asia. I think it tends to be related to education levels. I try to remind myself that it's not just Morocco.

I watched the trailer for Nefarious today, a documentary about sex slavery (I can't wait to watch it). The attitude at the root of sexual slavery is the same attitude at the root of sexual harassment. Harassing a woman on the street, treating her as if she is an object, is no different than participating in the buying and selling of woman as sex slaves. The woman is treated as a commodity for men to play with in both instances.

It's not only women who are objectified. How often have you seen a black person and instead of seeing a person just like yourself, all you see is "black"? How often have you seen a woman in a headscarf and instead of seeing a person just like yourself, all you see is "Muslim"? How often have you seen two gay guys, and instead of seeing two people just like yourself, all you see is "gay"? How often have you seen a prisoner, and instead of seeing a person just like yourself, all you see is "prisoner"? We are all people made in the image of God, and we are all sinners.

I am not inferior to men. I am not a commodity. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I cannot explain the fury I feel when I'm made to feel otherwise. I'm trying to channel my rage into constructive outlets, hence this blog post. Please, please. Think about how you objectify people and stop doing it. If you objectify people in your mind, that will undoubtedly translate into how you treat them. I've spent seven months being treated as a sexual object, and it sure isn't fun.

KONY2012

I guess it's time to weigh in on the whole KONY2012 thing. I am so, so amazed at how this campaign is spreading like wild fire. I think it's absolutely wonderful that so many people are talking about this and I honestly never thought that this issue, which has been so near and dear to my heart for the past three years, would get such widespread attention.

I have found a lot of the criticism of KONY2012 to be very frustratingly simplistic and misguided. I could probably write 50 pages reacting to all the articles and statuses I've seen going around facebook; some good, some bad, and some terribly ignorant.

I love Invisible Children, but as I have learned and grown more over the past three years since getting involved with them, my opinions on do-gooding, international aid, TOMS, and advocacy have changed a lot. When I saw my first IC film, I was heartbroken and enraged. I spent weeks, actually probably months, judging everyone around me for spending money on TVs and clothes and jewelry and entertainment and eating out when there are kids in central Africa who are being kidnapped, forced to fight, raped, murdered, and misplaced. I thought we should all stop what we were doing and save those kids.

Now, I know it's not that simple. Now I know that when the west tries to save Africa and sends T-shirts and food and guns and bad ideas we end up doing much more harm than good. We destroy local economies, we implicitly concede that westerners are better at helping Africa than Africans are, and we spread the idea that Africa is one big impoverished dessert full of helpless and starving people (it's not).

It feels good to "help". Especially in America, where our culture is so materialistic and we're so addicted to our jobs and time is money. Charity has turned into another form of entertainment. We "help" others because it makes us feel better. We buy bracelets, we put up posters, and we wear cool t-shirts and shoes that make us look hipster.

I am just as guilty of all this as anyone else. But thank God, that isn't the end. I am 100% for do-gooding, for advocacy, for wronging rights and fighting for justice. The key is to work and advocate in a way that actually helps, rather than harms, and sometimes that's counter intuitive. What Africa needs isn't more westerners, more aid programs, or more money. Africa needs Africans to stand up and demand justice. Africa needs Africans who will fight corruption, find innovative ways to improve infrastructure and economic growth, and address the roots of the problems.

But I can also attest to the power of the idea that a bunch of young people can change the world. Invisible Children is only partly about stopping Joseph Kony. Even if IC never succeeds in stopping Kony (God forbid), it will still have been a success. IC has done so much in the lives of so many young people. They have helped us take our focus off of ourselves, and MTV, and The Bachelor, and opened our eyes to the world around us. I know so many people who have dedicated their lives to social justice because of Invisible Children. IC completely changed how I view the world and my priorities and goals. Sometimes their campaigns are simplistic, and sometimes I disagree with their tactics, but the good work that IC does extends far beyond central Africa.

Not all westerners in Africa are bad (obviously). Were it not for Invisible Children, I believe that almost no one would know about the LRA and Kony, and (almost) no one would be trying to stop them. Because of the work of IC over the years, our country has united to show leadership in the fight for justice and helping stop the LRA.

I am just as thankful for how IC changed the course of my life (I don't care how corny that sounds, it's true) as I am for what they do to raise awareness in the U.S., improve education in Uganda, and stop Kony. I'm not saying that it doesn't matter what IC does in Africa because they're doing good things at home - it does matter what they do in Africa, and I believe they're doing good things. I want Invisible Children to keep showing films and keep changing lives, and I hope I can share what I've learned with those who are just learning about IC and are passionate about getting involved.

Lastly, I'm not going to address all the points that critiques have been raising about KONY2012, but I do want to bring up one in particular. First, I've seen a lot of people posting on facebook about how you shouldn't give money to IC because they spend so much on filming and not enough in central Africa. That's B.S. Invisible Children does do work on the ground in Uganda and central Africa, but they also do awareness work in the U.S., and that's as much a part of their mission as the ground work is. If they didn't make these films, this wouldn't even be an issue because no one would know who Joseph Kony is or the terrible things he does. If you don't like how IC spends it's money, that's fine. Honestly, they have a lot of money and there are many more organizations out there doing good work who need money more than IC does. I happen to have a major, major crush on an organization I've done a lot of work with called Resolve, and if you're looking for somewhere to drop your money, it should be there. They have a cosponsor program if you want to give monthly. I know all the people who work there, I've stayed in their houses, eaten their food, and they are like family to me. You should give them your money :). Also, eXile International and Freedom in Creation do really great work in central Africa and are headed by really great people.

All in all, even though I sometimes have reservations about Invisible Children, I strongly support what they do and what they stand for. If you're complaining that the Kony2012 campaign is too simplistic, get online and educate yourself. It's that easy. You can read this, or look around the Resolve and IC websites.

Christmas Vacation

In the past five weeks I've been in five different countries (not counting Morocco), but mostly Germany, Austria, and Egypt. I had a month of vacation between semesters, and I didn't waste my time. And funny enough, the past month outside of Morocco was the best time I've had since coming to Morocco, mainly because I was with family.

Vacation Part I: Rabat -> Kandern, Germany.

I spent Christmas with my sister, brother-in-law, and his sister and her husband who live in Kandern. It was a really great week. The first thing I did when I got to their house was eat bacon. Then I slept a lot and laid around in my pajamas enjoying a heated house. For the first time in a month and a half, I wasn't freezing inside the house! That was a very, very nice feeling. That week we ate a lot, played a lot of games, went hiking, and took a day trip to Christmas markets in France.


We took a hike on Christmas day and saw little beautiful things like this


and big beautiful things like this.



A Christmas market in France


Vacation Part II: Kandern -> Salzburg -> Munich

Salzburg was amazing. It's one of my favorite cities now. It was small, beautiful, tasteful, and romantic. It wasn't crazy and busy and over the top touristy like a lot of big European cities are. It was a really nice place to spend a few days. It was so, so beautiful. It wasn't just the city, with the incredible old architecture and the castle and the river running right through it, it was also the backdrop of picturesque mountains which surround Salzburg in every direction. And the best part was that I got to see a bunch of the places where the Sound of Music was filmed! We also went skiing one day outside of the city, but let's just say the slopes were a little too hard for some of us.


Me and my amazing sis in Salzburg


A couple dancing to live music



The gazebo from the Sound of Music



Salzburg


On the way to Munich we went to Cinderella's castle, which is also the castle that the Disney castle is based on. We didn't go inside, but it was pretty cool to see it.



Cinderella's castle!

Munich was really nice. My favorite part about it was that there were dogs everywhere: on the street, in stores, and in restaurants, places you would never see a dog in the U.S. They were all well behaved and wonderful. I'm getting a dog as soon as I possibly can. I didn't take any pictures in Munich because I was tired of lugging around my big camera and huge lenses with me everywhere by this time. But we went to some museums, ate good food, walked around a lot, saw a couple movies, and did other touristy things.

Oh, and I should clarify before I go on: I ate more pork on this vacation than I ever have in a two week period. I think I had meat that wasn't pork maybe two or three times the whole trip. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.


I don't remember what this was called but it was in Munich and it was pretty.

Vacation Part III: Munich -> Cairo

I hadn't exactly planned what I was going to do after Europe, but I realized I didn't want to spend two weeks alone in Morocco, so my wonderful parents bought me a ticket to stay with Kristen and Robert in Cairo for the remaining two weeks of my vacation. I had to fly back to Casablanca and fly to Cairo from there, and the six hours I spent in Morocco made me so glad I didn't have to go back for two more weeks. I bought a salad at the airport, and then after hunting for a fork for about five minutes, was informed that there were none. So I ate the salad with my hands. Then I walked back and forth between the two terminals about three times because I was really tired and started out looking for Terminal 2, but then forgot which terminal I was looking for and thought I must be looking for Terminal 1 because I couldn't find Terminal 2. But no, I needed Terminal 2, and the lady at the Royal Air Maroc thought I was crazy because I came back and asked her the same exact question I had asked 15 minutes earlier. This whole time I was sweating profusely because I was lugging around my huge, stuffed, extremely heavy packpacking pack, my stuffed, heavy school backpack, and my camera case. Moral of this little story, in case you ever fly out of Casablanca, Terminal 2 is really hard to find. Just follow the yellow line on the floor. Anyway, six hours later, at 1am, I finally was on my flight to Cairo. I had already eaten dinner and all I wanted to do was sleep, but the flight attendant was not ok with that. She kept waking me up and insisting I eat. Oh, Morocco. I love you but sometimes I hate you.

Cairo sure isn't Europe, but it was wonderful to be in Kristen and Robert's nice big apartment, have a full kitchen stocked with American ingredients, and cook, sleep, watch movies, and take stand up showers to my heart's content. The best part was Stella, their dog. Stella and I had a two week love affair and leaving her was very, very hard. She was a street dog that they saved, and she is the most precious ball of white and orange and brown fur that ever was.


You can't get any cuter than this



One of my favorites


Stella and I

I've been back at school in Rabat for the past week. It's back to an ovenless kitchen, curtainless showers, and a heaterless house. But it's really great to be back with my host family and in my own room. I bought a beautiful houseplant for the room this weekend and put up all the posters I had bought last semester but never got around to putting up. It's a lot more homey now. My baby sister is as cute as ever. God is good. The end.